you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
