how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
where are my pants?
in the oven.
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