oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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