good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I was tripping balls on the bathroom floor and his dog walked in. The lights in his bathroom have motion sensors, so I thought his labrador retriever was Jesus.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
