I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
