I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize