its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
