wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
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