So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
