You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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