we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
