Fyi I let myself into your place, I'm wearing some of your clothes in your bed. Come take them off
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Just puked most of my soul out..
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
