i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
