yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
