i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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