The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
Randomize
