Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
