what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Randomize