The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
Randomize