My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
