If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
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