shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
