dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Randomize
