yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
