I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Randomize
