Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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