There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Randomize
