I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
