i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
