I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
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