Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
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