Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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