I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
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