I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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