this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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