If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
