can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Liz is crying about burritos again.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
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