True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
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