i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
