So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Randomize
