I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
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