So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
