there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
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