Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I'm never drinking again. I saw way more penises than I ever cared to see last night. And I've decided that I'm going to live in Scotland.
I need an explanation for both of these epiphanies.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
