You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
What drink are we having for lunch?
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
