Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
