Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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