Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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