Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
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