My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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