i'm signing you up for texting rehab
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
