i think my mom watched the whole time
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
is that a dick in a sweater?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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