Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Someone shattered a urinal.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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