Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
