We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize