Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
