I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Randomize
