I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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