Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize
