Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
