I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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