I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
