Pants 0. Shit 1.
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
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